"Break The Internet" (National Poetry Month poem-a-day) Day 13

written by Bruce A. Pandolfo
4/13/2017


Give him thirty minutes and he'll know your whole story.
He'll need a computer, of course.
It all started with those ubiquitous AOL CD's in the 90s.
He just wanted free internet.
Figured that out pretty quickly,
Dastardly digital cunning.
Started downloading free music and movies.
Couldn't wait in line online.
So he did what anyone would do...
you know,
got in touch with the hackers,
hacked away at their prejudices
then hacked away for their tests.
Ended up befriending this troupe of Russian rascals
while hacking into University servers,
Slept through school classes as he stayed up learning,
sure not to alert or lure anyone to his private piracy.

Now we're talking year 2000,
He goes by MafiaBoy.
It's comforting to know the professional pirates
of the pixel planes
aren't exempt from embarrassing internet handles.
Dull, delighted he decided to get hands on
and impress his hacker buddies.
So he does what anyone looking to be cool in front of his peers would do.
This guy crashes the websites of Yahoo, Ebay, CNN, Etrade Dell, Amazon.
It was an unprecedented presentation of prankster ambition,
No one had ever broken the internet like this.
He was the first Kardashian ass...
he was the most astonishing Cyber-Space-Cadet in the hacking universe..
For gags, he cost these companies
over a billion dollars in under a week!

No one outwitted MafiaBoy
don't be ridiculous,
they found him because he was bragging and boasting.
His Dad calls him up and the FBI are at the door.
He comes home from watching Goodfellas
and gets arrested.
He pleads guilty in the Montreal youth court
and gets 8 months in a youth detention center.
Yeah youth court.

Oh I didn't mention he was 15? 


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